what to do

So as many of you may already know Terry and I have run into some major fertility problems. My body for just some reason cannot get pregnant instead I grow massive cysts that are extremely painful. We met with a fertility doctor this week and we are starting the testing to see what are options are. We have both decided that Invitro is not for us. This was not an easy decision by any means. It feels like a great loss to me if I cannot carry a child, but the what ifs about invitro scare us both way too much. I really never thought I would ever be faced with this but we are and Terry is a rock he is the one telling me whatever will be, will be and I know that to be true but that doesn't make the sorrows of today any easier. We talked with a couple last night who have adopted 2 children. They were very insightful and excited to share their story. We are going to start that process and see where it takes us. This too was not an easy decision. I have 4 cousins who have been adopted and they are all amazing miracles and I know with all of my heart they are meant to be exactly where they are. They are as much part of the family as the next. I know there is a plan for all of us and it is much bigger and more in depth than we could ever comprehend. I know that nothing is by mistake that everything is a lesson and a stepping stone to making a good life. I also know there will be nothing given to us that we cannot handle that brings me great comfort. We are scared but very excited for what lies ahead of us. We are surrounded by great supports and the knowledge that we will make it thru this. Life is full of storms, it is up to us if we look for the rainbows.